Random Disclaimer: Don’t take any of this seriously. It is just something silly I decided to write about this time. Just go with it.
I don’t know about anyone else, but the Kane-Daniel Bryan feud is silly to me, but in a good way. Never mind the fact that they have made Daniel Bryan look like the wussiest champion since Rey Mysterio; it’s like Raw each and every week is playing out like some horror film from the days of “USA: Up All Night”, and all we need is for Gilbert Gottfried to give commentary during commercial breaks. Brie Bella’s acting is somewhere between the abilities of a tree and Gianna Michaels, and Stephanie McMahon is involved playing some weird puppet master who pretends to be clueless. Her acting during this whole thing has been pretty crappy too, but meh whatever. Wrestling is basically a weekly continuing B-Movie anyhow.
We have some things that are still yet to be explained. It’s like WWE wants everyone to forget that Kane and Bryan were tag team champions for quite a few months as Team Hell No, and had learned to hug out all of their problems from hanging out with that shrink Dr. Shelby. Suddenly, it appears that all of those counseling sessions haven’t stopped Kane from wanting to hurt Daniel Bryan and his wife. We are seeing all these horrifying acts playing out live on TV! OH THE HUMANITY OF IT ALL!
Why is it that in wrestling crimes such as attempted sexual assault, attempted murder, attempted vehicular man slaughter, harassment, and vandalism completely fine as long as those crimes are solved by pinfall or submission? Is this why no one has called the cops? Is professional wrestling out of their jurisdiction? How come Daniel Bryan hasn’t filed a complaint to HR about the conditions that he is being forced to work under? His own boss forced him to stay at work while there is a murderer on the loose who wants to kill him and do some ungodly things to his wife!
I know that I am supposed to suspend my belief and all, but it is just that this storyline is so stupid that it’s funny. I just wonder what is going to happen next. Is Kane going to start showing up in their dreams? Maybe he will set Bryan’s dressing room on fire next. The possibilities are endless until the Payback PPV. The most important thing though is that Bryan and his wife have to stay celibate this whole time if things are going by scary movie rules. How many times have we seen teenagers and adults in those slasher films get killed while they are attempting to have sex?
In the end, there is a possibility that it’s something else altogether. What if this whole time the reason why Kane has been going after Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella is because he simply wants to give them his wedding gift? Maybe Kane is going to give them a new Tupperware set or a blender! Maybe Kane is simply trying to hug it out with the two of them in order to tell them congratulations which would explain why he keeps trying to grab up Brie Bella. We all know how socially awkward Kane has always been. This whole thing could just be some misunderstanding after all!
So what do you folks out there in the wrestling galaxy thing of this angle? Sound off on this one. Do you think that is it silly? Are you entertained by it? I think it is just a bridge to Bryan having some bigger story-lines down the road while they write Kane off TV, so that he can go make See No Evil 2: Because WWE Films Thinks the World Needed a Sequel. I think I can deal with that, and I think that I can suspend my imagination. I am really hoping that it simply is Kane trying to give them a bread maker or tickets to see Phish.
As always, you can follow me on Twitter @whosantcox, and tell me what you think. You can also email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with you thoughts and opinions on this. I do my best to try to respond to everyone that sends me a message. Catch you on the flipside wrestling fans!
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